Dec 5, 2014

Book Review: Blessed by Cynthia Leitich Smith

Salam . Well another book review . you like it or not, i'm a bookworm just this entry won't be as long as you expected though cause i quite disappointed really = =" Before you go wasting ur precious time that i know u can pick it up, let me make clear here that i'll just give this book 3 stars out of 5. so if u are already disappointed too then go check my other reviews . you'll particularly love it , i think. but if you are insisted on me reviewing this book, so let's start.

I'll make it short. i know some of you are busy people -.- 

With a wink and a nod to Bram Stoker, New York Times best-selling author Cynthia Leitich Smith unites the casts of Tantalize and Eternal in a delicious dark fantasy her fans will devour.

Quincie P. Morris, teen restaurateuse and neophyte vampire, is in the fight of her life -- or undeath. Even as she adjusts to her new appetites, she must clear her best friend and true love, the hybrid werewolf Kieren, of murder charges; thwart the apocalyptic ambitions of Bradley Sanguini, the seductive vampire-chef who "blessed" her; and keep her dead parents’ restaurant up and running. She hires a more homespun chef and adds the preternaturally beautiful Zachary to her wait staff. But with hundreds of new vampires on the rise and Bradley off assuming the powers of Dracula Prime, Zachary soon reveals his true nature -- and a flaming sword -- and they hit the road to staunch the bloodshed before it’s too late. Even if they save the world, will there be time left to salvage Quincie’s soul?

Conclusive wrap-up for characters

In Cynthia Leitich Smith’s BLESSED, teen restaurant manager and new vampire Quincie Morris finds herself struggling to handle the demands of saving her restaurant, hundreds of souls, and her relationship with werewolf-hybrid Kieren. With help from a beautiful new hire, Zachary, and his friends, Quincie must race to stop Bradley Sanguini’s quest to make himself into a modern Dracula, complete with his own army of fledgling vampire minions. In the process, Quincie also must consider what her vampire soul is worth.

BLESSED combines the casts of TANTALIZE and ETERNAL to provide a conclusive wrap-up to the supernatural story world Smith has created. While the first two books were companion novels, BLESSED is a true sequel that merges the two previous storylines to provide a satisfying ending for each character’s story. Strong themes about faith, redemption, and self-sacrifice run through the novel and are examined in non-preachy ways. Quincie experiences much more character development here than in the first book, and fans of Kieren and Quincie will be delighted to see their relationship developed beyond the first sparks seen at the end of TANTALIZE. The novel also explores the vampire myths of Bram Stoker’s DRACULA and links them in believable ways to a modern setting.

Though I enjoyed seeing Quincie, Kieren, and Zachary’s stories brought to a close, this installment has many of the same weak points as its predecessors. Dialogue comes across as stilted and unbelievable at times, and there are a few abrupt transitions between scenes. Again, like in TANTALIZE, attempts to infuse sensuality into the text felt a bit forced, as though the author was trying noticeably to be edgy. A few items regarding the mythology were left unresolved, and an overreliance on summarizing Stoker’s DRACULA weighed down the middle section of the book. Additionally, while the division of the novel into meal courses felt creative in TANTALIZE, the use of the same structure now felt trite and unnecessary to understand the story.

Although Blessed is the last book in the series I did not feel satisfied. For starters I couldn’t get into this book. It was so long ago that I read the first one to this series that I kind of forgot what happened. Blessed picked up where tantalize left off. I thought it was kind of weird that this picks up after Tantalize when there was a whole other book in the middle there.

Blessed started off with Kieren leaving Quincie. I didn’t like how Kieren left, and that’s the last we heard about him till three quarters into the book. Although Quincie did think about him a couple of times throughout the book, it just wasn’t enough to satisfy me.
The book started out a little slow with Quincie hiring all new employees for her restaurant. The main point of half the book revolves around her restaurant and Bradley. Then Zachary wants to be hired to be a bus boy in the restaurant.

Zachary is Quincie’s guardian angel. Neither Zachary nor Quincie know why she has a guardian angel in the first place. She has no soul, she’s a vampire. I absolutely love Zachary’s character. I loved his character in Eternal and I love his character in Blessed. Zachary helps Quincie find her true self in this book. She kind of reinvents herself, grows up a little bit more.

I liked how Cynthia Leitich Smith put the first two books in the series, Tantalize and eternal together, and meshed the characters together. When I first started reading the parts with Zachary and Quincie I thought they would fall in love. Thankfully they didn’t, that would have ruined the whole book. It was strictly friendship between them.

The ending was abrupt and left unanswered questions.
Does Quince's soul go to Heaven?
How long is Zach earth bound?
Until Kieren dies?
Until Zach saves 100 vampire souls?
Until Quince is 200 years old?
When ???
The book was over 4 hundred pages but ended vaguely.

If you are really bored one weekend,
If you can read the books for free and
If you have absolutely nothing else you would like to read, then, only then I would say go for it and read the book(s)
But, in my opinion there are too many other books out there that are more interesting, have better endings and are worth reading first.

I repeat, the book was just ok..

-“Straightening, I asked, "What do you believe in?""Old love songs, best friends, the collected works of J.R.R.Tolkien, crispy pork egg rolls with just the right amount of grease, the Big Boss and eternity.""The Big Boss?"Zachary pointed up, as if to heaven. "Pious,"I teased.” -“Each second neared our last.We danced.“Kieren . . .”“Shhh . . .”We danced.“I’ll be okay.” Was that me lying? Or him?We danced.“Close your eyes,” he whispered, brushing his lipsagainst mine. “Know that I’m missing you already andthat you’ll always be in my prayers.”When I opened my eyes, I stood alone in the middle ofthe dance floor.” 

Btw, for all bookworm the same species as me, don't miss the Big Bad Wold at MINES . it been held from 5th-19th December . well correct me if i'm wrong. 
Until then, XOXO

Dec 4, 2014

Book Review: Always Something There to Remind Me by Beth Harbison

Salam, next book review. Well this book is not one of my favorite genre but the story line captivate my fragile heart 

Can you ever really know if love is true? And if it is, should you stop at anything to get it? Two decades ago, Erin Edwards was sure she’d already found the love of her life: Nate Lawson. Her first love. The one with whom she shared everything--dreams of the future, of children, plans for forever. The one she thought she would spend the rest of her life with. Until one terrible night when Erin made a mistake Nate could not forgive and left her to mourn the relationship she could never forget or get over.Today, Erin is contentedly involved with a phenomenal guy, maneuvering a successful and exciting career, and raising a great daughter all on her own. So why would the name “Nate Lawson” be the first thing to enter her mind when her boyfriend asks her to marry him?In the wake of the proposal, Erin finds herself coming unraveled over the past, and the love she never forgot. The more she tries to ignore it and move on, the more it haunts her.Always Something There to Remind Me is a story that will resonate with any woman who has ever thought of that one first love and wondered, “Where is he?” and “What if…?” Filled with Beth Harbison’s trademark nostalgia humor and heart, it will transport you, and inspire you to believe in the power of first love.

 I have to agree to Jen Lancaster that this book is really "Riveting, touching, truthful, profoundly satisfying." Well before posting my own thought for this book maybe you can hear this woman's first well i'm not so good at describing 18+ like this.

I don't think I'll be posting this particular review on Facebook as this book has quite a bit of *whispers* s-e-x in it. (A lot of Christians seem to have a problem with this particular topic even though God created it.) However, before Christians discount it completely, let me just add that this book makes a powerful case for teenage abstinence. First of all, it contains an extremely accurate description of a girl's First Time. It's not the passionate, beautiful experience you see in movies. It's awkward and painful and not much fun, especially when it's with someone you aren't madly in love with and not married to.
The second reason I think there is a message of abstinence here is that in this book you see a woman still hung up over her first love decades later. What girls don't realize is that when you give your heart and body to someone, they will always have a piece of you. Shouldn't that be the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with? I actually think that this wouldn't be a bad book to remember when it's time to give your daughter The Talk. There's more at stake than just unplanned pregnancies or STDs. -Regina from GoodRead

Just a note: In real life, most stories don't end like this one. That's the difference between fiction and reality

so enough with heavy let's start buddies! I am so overwhelmed by this book, I am not even sure where to start this review. I don't think that I have ever been as personally affected mentally and emotionally by a book as this one has affected me and I am not even sure if I can pinpoint the exact reason as to why. This is DEFINITELY a story that resonates close to my heart. The book jumps constantly from the Present and back to the mid 1980's when Erin was in high school and deeply in love with Nate... like only teen love can be. Much of the lure of this book throughout the first half of the book is that you are told way early that Erin & Nate have not been together in 23 years. The details of their relationship are slowly revealed, and the deeper you read into their relationship, the more the questions press about what in the world happened to keep them apart for the last 23 years. At the same time, you are learning about Erin's life now with her wonderful 15 yo daughter Camille, her really incredible boyfriend Rick who wants to marry her, and his 16 yo daughter Amy who is Cam's best friend.

What is obvious throughout the entire story is, that no matter how young they were, Nate & Erin had an incredible love and the end of that relationship and the pain from that ending has never left Erin. That pain is a palpable entity throughout the entire book. It echoes. It resonates. It hurts me, as the reader, even now to think about it. She was absolutely devastated by the loss of Nate no matter what her actions were that brought on the break-up. That single loss defined her whole life. She never again had another true love, but was it true love or simply the teenage high-emotion definition of true love?

There is also a lot of discussion about fate in this book. What if Nate & Erin had never broken up? What if she had made a single different choice in high school? There are so many what if's? But the one thing that is clear throughout this book is that if she hadn't made the choices that she had, then she wouldn't have had Camille and that is not a choice that she EVER would have made. Camille is her life and in the end Camille is her savior in helping her make the right move. There was a certain rightness to that which was so perfect for the ending in this book. maybe it's the way I sort of wanted it to work out but didn't see how the author could manage it without coming off completely cheesy, and then she got the ending just right... 

Erin finds Nate, and discovers some shocking news of her own. Will it be too much for her to take, and make her realize that the break-up was exactly that - something that was meant to be long ago? Or is fate stepping in once again, and letting her know that the time is right for a do-over, and this is the second chance she'd always hoped for?

It questions whether one can ever get over their first love and intertwines the tale of Erin (the novel's protagonist) during her teen years with that of her during her adult life. These were wonderfully woven together often leading into and out of each other so that the reader never really felt as if they were departing from the story. Unfortunately, this is a technique that many writers have not yet mastered and can result in the loss of the 'flow' of the story. 

Throughout the novel Erin questions the effect that the loss of her first love Nate had on her and whether she could have, or should have, tried to change that. 

A beautiful ending which had me almost begging for more, a must read for any chick-lit lovers. I loved this one unreasonably, and recommend it to everyone who has ever angsted or felt the pull of the past. Or anyone who has ever liked to read, really. It's a book about first love and all of the agony and ecstasy that goes with it. In this story, the author delves into deeper stuff than she's ever done before, and shows her readers what she can really do with words. 

Well if you are new in Chick-Lit genre .. hmm i don't recommend it so much dear lalallaalala. thought i'm becoming a woman right now haha. i really like to maintain being a girl forever tho..

-“Who they are today isn't who they were then.” -“I missed the idea of him more than he himself.” -“We can understand the science of what makes a heart beat, but we can never stop it from breaking.” “I wanted to tell him I loved him, that I'd always loved him, & that life-& I- had never been the same without him there.” -“This had to be what insanity felt like. Thinking the same thoughts over and over, expecting a different reality every time.” 

until then, XOXO

Book Review : Grave Doubts & Heaven Sent by Meg Cabot

Salam. Hello boyfriends and girlfriends .
After completing this guy at school, i want to share and give my humble opinion for this book.

Meet Susannah Simon: she's a typical teenage girl who just happens to be a ghost-hunter...oh, and she's also dead-over-heels for Jesse - the sexiest spook ever! But can this girl get her ghost? In "Grave Doubts", Suze has to contend with fellow ghost-hunter, Paul Slater, who gives her a deadly ultimatum. Unless she dates him, he'll send Jesse into the afterlife - for good. Paul may be totally hot, but Susannah Simon will not be bossed around. Let the games begin...In "Heaven Sent", all Suze's dreams have come true - she's finally dating the most gorgeous ghost of all time, Jesse! But when her creepy admirer threatens to travel back in time and stop Jesse from dying, Suze is distraught. Will her new boyfriend choose life or love?

Let's start shall we. Meg Cabot isn't someone new to me, i happened to enjoy reading her book so far but once i put my eyes on this book, well it happened to shock me.
I never know that Meg Cabot also write this kind of book, ouh you know my type the romantic-supernatural-vampire-werewolf-and-all-their-siblings-bookworm .
But it happen that this book is in a series , i'm kinda down of course,
well where i'm gonna find on this earth all the series *smirk lastly i managed to read all the series
but i'm lucky enough to grab the last series so i tell myself maybe i'm gonna understand all this story . there's maybe in that. 

The story isn't so complicated so i managed to put my imagination and delusion fit enough with the story.
you can imagine all the story though because she is kind of explain how something happened like who is jess , well she doesn't supposed to write it again cause that supposed to happened it the first series but Meg Cabot seemed like put the flashback scenes where Susannah simon first meet Jess the sexiest spook ever . it's hard at first cause you will want to know who is this sexy Paul Slater or what did he do to Susannah Simon but once the story taken place and start to move to each chapter you'll kind understand their unchemistry gap between them.
The words also is quite easy but if you are beginner in this supernatural thing , you'll need a dictionary alongside you to understand certain words in the supernatural world.

I am going to review this series altogether rather than book by book. 
So let start with the story. 
The Mediator series is about Susannah Simon (Suze as she likes to be called), a sixteen year old girl who is a mediator, which means she can see and speak to the dead. She helps them with any unfinished business they have on earth so that they can pass on, and sometimes she has to kick ghost butt. 

The story starts with Suze moving from New York to California to live with her mother's new husband Andy and his three sons, David, Brad and Jake or as Suze calls them, Doc, Dopey and Sleepy. On arrival at her new house, she discovers that her bedroom is occupied by the ghost of Jesse, a hot guy who died about 150 years previous, around the age of 20. When she starts at her new school, she meets another mediator, the first one she's ever met, and they, with the help of Jesse, kick some ghost butt throughout the series. 

It is a really great book. And like the other books is about forbidden love but this kinda ships the whole impossible borderline of how the living and the dead can't be together. I love how this book is about hope and how people can change. 

These books were a fantastic read. I really liked Meg's writing style. Suze was a great character, witty and sarcastic and she was accompanied here by many great characters, I liked them all, even the ones that weren't supposed to be liked lol. The first three books were enjoyable but I felt the series really took off from book 4. A new character is introduced (Paul Slater) and a kind of weird love triangle begins. 

I enjoyed every moment when Jesse and Suz becoming closer and closer! The Paul guy freaked me out, nonetheless. Yeah I know, he was an extremely-hot-and-sexy guy, but so what? He was also an if-you-don't-date-me-I-will-kill-your-boyfriend type of guy. Paul was also a mediator/shifter who could see as well as talk to ghosts. He could shift through time just like Suz. He even had more knowledge about shifting than Suz, since he taught her about how to be a better mediator.

This book like the "Abandoned Trilogy" is amazing and I would have to say that Jesse and Susan have a much stronger love then John and Pierce. Cause though it is hard to be with a God, at least a God isn't dead and has a means of taking care of his loved one, plus you can introduce him to your perents. But a ghost on the other hand ye now that's hard but the fact that Jesse and Susan, well more like Susan found a way to be with Jesse, without killing herself. And so they can grow old together, now that is really strong love.

Heaven Sent was slighty different how it was more about suze and jesse and paul interfering in there relationship and trying to ruin things. This was intense that i got emotional in reading it as i just wanted things to work out for suze and jesse and for them to be happy but everyone and everything just seemed to get in the way. I really loved the ending as it was so different and nothing like what i was expecting to happen. 

So that's how is it. It's really emotional book i like how my feeling being carried away with this book how Susannah Simon was so afraid that jesse will choose her life instead of her . but shockingly she got two of them.BAM! Until the ending that surprised me... It was so unpredicted that right now, I am speechless.. 
YOU SHOULD READ THIS SERIES, PEOPLE! okay praised for Meg Cabot. Truly 5 stars buddy!

After reading a book well this is a must:
-If you love something, set it free. If it was meant to be, it will come back to you. -That hurt querida, that really hurt . - You need to be with someone your family and friends can actually see. You need to be someone who can grow old with you. You need to be with someone alive. (this quote actually managed to put my eyes teary) 

until then, XOXO

Dec 2, 2014

The End

Right know maybe .. MAYBE there's someone will notice my presence is dissolving right into the mist of the night , my presence had been swallowed and be carried away by November . 
If there's actually one human noticed me being missing...
Please remind me to hug you so damn tight..
I am crying  i'm telling you, sobbing so hard unconditionally 
I really don't know what have gotten to me this 2014 really.
I've changed so damn MUCH this year until me, myself didn't know who is this in front of me, just like who are you, ?? i really don't know  myself anymore, truthfully .
so today i sleep so long trying to find what is wrong with me, just really what is it...
opening my leather bounded book , i found it.

Dan kau tanya dalam diam
Dengan mata kau biar pejam
Bagaimana mampu wujud sunyi
Diriuh engkau berdiri
Satu persatu hilang ertinya
Berdikit-dikit menyesak dada
Mahu kau lari dan bersembunyi
Tapi mana kau harus pergi
Haus.. tak terpuas lautan
Lapar tak terkenyangkan
Kau tahu namun tak kau akukan
Kau selongkar bumi langit petala
Sedang jawabnya lama kau ada
Maka perlu apa kau bongkar gali
Kalau cuma diletak tepi
Sayu.. tak terjelas fikiran
Rebah tak tersambutkan
Kau tahu namun tak kau akukan
Apa kau cari yang sebetul betulnya
Lama mana begini
Bertelanjang jiwanya
Apa kau cari yang sesungguh sungguhnya
Malam siang berganti
Jawabnya tetap sama
Apa kau cari yang sebetul betulnya
Lama mana begini
Bertelanjang jiwanya
Apa kau nanti yang sesungguh sungguhnya
Malam siang berganti
Jawabnya tetap sama
Sayu.. tak terjelas fikiran
Rebah tak tersambutkan
Kau tahu kau sayu
Kau rindu sama Tuhan

so for those who might just in case , just realize that i've been missing , there's nothing i want to say.
There isn't any reason behind this.
If you are so hard on me by wanting me to give the reason thought, well accepted this
"Maybe i am reborn."
hahahah. Just accepted that , that was my last request for you.
Yes maybe i will never know or up to date to on how good is you doing nowadays but believe it's not because i don't care about you anymore but it's better this way.
Allah will always united us .
Actually i'm being strong right know believe me,
i'm telling myself again and again that this is really the right choice .
So please do me a favor by supporting my decision , for my haters really prays for me ahahah.
you know if i was given three wishes by genee the first wish is i want to have the special gift like Lee Jong Suk in the I Hear Your Voice.
i really want to know every inch of heart that you have.
What have you thought of me? What is your impression bout me? and Do you like me?
You know there's this person on my
He said: "aku budak jahat tak mati pun takda kawan."
the i've been thinking that sometimes.
You just need oxygen to breath and live why bothers other things.
so you if you are reading this,
i am grateful to have met you, may we meet again someday and just for you to be aware, i think i maybe will try to apply your technique next year. 
I'm excited on how it will turn to be, is my life will be upside down?
really can't wait.
"I don't talk much in real life. I love to observe every inch of life. So this is the result of my observation ."
Btw, i haven't decided which class to turn myself in next year.
I just don't know what to write anymore. Sorry because you had to waste your precious time reading my dumb post , well my parents doesn't raise me all this dumby in the first place.
Beg your pardon, until then.

Just have to breath

now keep your eyes off me and take a deep breath 
well you can continue reading , 2nd Dec woahh 2014 really flew like a *ffft
have you ever think what really is you doing right know, why i did this or i have to live for a damn what?!?! well that thought will seemly got into you sometimes like a refugee trying to get a hold of the country she or he is staying *woahhh just what am i ***
i'm a bookworm and i am unconditionally and irrevocably in love (don't laugh if u know this line) with supernatural romance english novel .
so my life is like this.
watching Twilight series over and over again until i managed to put a thought of Bella Swan in my head "Edward Cullen might get sick of your face watching him almost every month so can you just put off your damn face out of my boyfriend ??" 

or dreaming someday i can have a triangle love story like Cha Eun Sang and got a die-hot-dramatically-life with Kim Tan 

or waiting for a hot-dead-gorgeous boy to pull off my neck and turn me into his gorgeous undead eternals @ vampire girl and get the two siblings of hot-dead-gorgeous vampire pull out their fist because each one of them thought i am their long lost elena

oahhh can life just be this damn exciting thrilling trilogy? hahaha face it this is me.
you know here i will give you a sentence or something like motto oh right yes it is a motto to hold into in case just in case you might realize how pitiful your life are and how you want to end everything in your surrounding . just put this in your mind ,,

"Allah never burdens a soul beyond that it can bears."

SO when you can end this read of my so-damn-pitiful-like-to-kick-you-just-in-case-i-meet-you-blog-owner post , you can think just like me, likeee

yessssy now i understand why edward cullen won't choose me because there's possibility that i might run into Jacob when i get tired of his so cold hug

or finally obediently nodding why i never entangled my life like Cha Eun Sang because i probably 99% sure that i might change Kim Tan's life history because i'm sure enough that i will accept his dad offers and go puff to america or paris or france 

or draw my sweet pretty smile and truly accept my life why i don't have doppelganger that look like stefan and damon long-die-girlfriend because i know that i will become greedy and took the two of them because i will never get to choose between the two hot-dead-gorgeous-vampires 

so i hope this post inspired you on how to have a final thought of your life . so get a tight grip of december because you might let free of  yourself to be the insignificant and new you next year. 
until next time, adios!

Nov 1, 2014


With the name of Allah,
Salam dah lama tak update entry, dah lama tak kongsikan cerita, dah lama dah pendam rahsia.
banyak benda dah jadi,
but all of it happened for a reason.
 many things that i learned and yet i learned it truly from my mistakes.
so what to do, PT3 dah habis, hanya mampu didik hati ni untuk redha tengok result nanti.
Ye Nurul Sakinah, macam mana kita study pun kalau Allah kata kun Fayakun macam tu yang jadi, so siapa aku hamba dia yang jijik ni nak ubah apa apa?
betul lah orang kata nak rendah kan ego kita pergi cuci tandas , nak senang sikit pergi bersihkan surau.
ya Allah tenang sangat rasa. memang salama ni kita dekat solat sehari semalam tak pernah tinggal,
but betul lah ap yang orang kata it's not about quantity , it's about quality.
rasa diri ni macam dah besar sangat dah, kalau aku belajar sunggu sungguh tak mungkin la aku tak dapat streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek A tu. tu kata kau yang ego.
kau lupa sapa dekat atas kau? kau lupa kau tu hamba je?
kau belajar lah sampai nak mati pun, kalau Allah kata kun Fayakun kau tak boleh nak jawab waktu exam tu walaupun semua preparation kau dah buat, sama je Nurul Sakinah, so didik hati pergi redha dengan result yang keluar nanti!

"Memang lah diorang cakap, ala PT3 je kot, wei aku yang rasa wei, form 1 PBS, form2 PBSMR, form 3 PT3, .. kalau kira berapa banyak duit parents aku keluar  , cukup duit makan budak kat palestine tu 1 tahun !!, memang la PT3 je pun, tak tentukan masa depan pun, tapi penat lelah aku 3 tahun, it's not worth if i dont get a straigh As?!?!?!?!?!?!"

---tu kata aku yang dulu

but sebab sebuah janji aku dah buat. and kalau dah kata janji tu mestilah tepati kan. lagi lagi janji kat rumah Allah.

"Orang rasa budak aspuri ni semua kena contohi orang tau. masuk sekolah ni patutnya bertambah baik. orang dulu f1  cam dajjal kot. ponteng prep gi ikut kak effa affiana tu.. tengok f5 baik kot. bukan mcm segelintir org kat sini, makin duk sini makin dajjal. heish.kina ingat pesan orang ni."

---kak ekin , truly missing you

"Janji dengan aku kau jadi budak baik tahun depan, form 4 nanti, janji dengan aku!! jangan buat masalah lagi macam ni, janji dengan aku. kau kat rumah Allah ni tau, jangan luar je nangis, dalam hati kena nangis, menyesal!!."

---suatu hari nanti orang akan pakai jubah biru cair tu macam akak

so, Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
aku harap aku buat keputusan yang betul.
tunggu Istikharah dulu.

"Allah never burden a soul beyond that it can bear."

jadi demi sebuah janji , insya Alah boleh ikhlas kan hati ni.
takpe, setapak sehari pun takpe, yang penting Istiqamah.
yang lepas, biarkan. (mesin masa aku tak berfungsi lak *okay lawakk)

"duduk sekolah ni hati kena kental. walaupun satu dunia ni tak percaya kina, satu dunia ni berpaling dari kina, orang ada untuk percaya dekat kina."
---great thanks for that trust

memang rancangan Allah itu hebat,
so saya Nurul Sakinah bt. Mohd Heree dengan serendah rendah dirinya meminta maaf atas segala yang berlaku. for those who keep trusting and believe in me, may Allah bless you.
terima kasih menyokong saya sepanjang tempoh ujian yang Allah berikan .
alhamdulillah, i passed it with new courage and bravery.
semua ini saya anggap hanya kaca yang saya terpijak sepanjang melalui kehidupan ini.
i wish for a better tomorrow with you.
rancangan Allah itu pasti, kita merancang dan dia juga merancang.
so i had planned my tomorrow but his plan is the greatest.
just keep waiting and keep believing that everything happens for a reason.

p/s: doakan saya dapat penuhi sebuah janji ini.

Till then, love you.

Jun 13, 2014


With the Name of Allah the Most Gracious and The Most Merciful.
Okayh hari ni dah last last okay. haha. 2 hari lagi nak habis cuti sekolah hampir 3 minggu.
dan saya baru nak update blog haha. tetiba ada rasa kannn. 
okayh post kali ni mugkin untuk membalas post tuan hamba
Mungkin sudah terlambat tapi kesah pulak saya. lebih Afdal bila waktu hakti ikhlas nak.


Awak. Kakak . Senior. Ummi. Elsa.

Nurshuhadah binti Zuhaidi. 
Belum genap 17 tahun lagi.
Seperti saya kata sedap dan senang bakal IMAM awak untuk melafazkan akad nikah nanti.
Bekas akak dorm tahun lepas.
Sama - sama berkongsi ilmu dalam bahas, pidato and syarahan.
Timbalan Ketua Pengawas 2013-2014.
Ummi yang penyayang. Full of masks.
banyak yang awak dah ajar saya. Banyak sangat tak terkira. 
banyak yang saya belajar . tak mampu nak senaraikan.
kadang kadang muka awak nampak matured sangat .
 tapi perangai gila-gila awak yang saya rasa .. 
kalau orang lain tahu ni tak mengaku ni Nurshuhadah Zuhaidi yang diorang kenal . haha.
Do you wanna build a snowman?
Arjuna Beta.
Senam yang iya iyalah.
bajet artis.\
Haha. semua ni kita buat.
Full of memories.
hahaha. kita satu keluarga. banyak mengajar. susah senang bersama.
banyak rahsia awak yang saya tahu.
well mungkin saya kenal Nurshuhadah Zuhaidi versi lain. yang orang lain tak kenal.
like i said. Full of Masks. mungkin kalau mereka kenal awak macam mana saya kenal.
maybe. hahah. susah nak explain. susah nak ungkapkan. 
susah nak pertahankan kepada mereka yang tidak mengenali awak. harap awak kuat.
semoga cepat sembuh dari sakit.
saya jeles dengan awak.
Bersyukurlah awak sakit. Allah sayang dekat awak. 
Satu satu dosa awak dia gugurkan.
Moga awak terus bertahan dengan dugaan. itu semua hanya kerana 
Dia sangat sayangkan awak.
dia rindu Awak nak merintih dekat Dia. untunggglahh. jeles ni. haha.
tahun depan jangan lupa kami. kami banyak lagi benda nak belajar daripada awak. 
kuat macam awak. pintar macam awak.Tough macam awak.
kalau nak listkan. kesian pembaca blog saya ni. menyampah pulak kang.

For you, SAYANG awak.

Nota kaki:
People say : Find good people and leave the bad people.
I say : Find the good in people and leave the bad one.


Awak .pembakar semangat. contoh. abang, erk. Maybe? bakal KP.

Ahmad Razin Ahmad Razli.
waktu aku dekat bandung haritu . dalam fligh.
"Good Morning. Hello. I'm Captain.....bla bla bla..."
well suddenly aku teringat kau. aku harap satu hari nanti aku
naik flight nama kau dekat speaker tu with Captain at the front okay.
Well spesis kau ni lebih kurang sama dengan aku je.
masalah tak nak citer. haha . terpaksa kena korek.
suka dengar masalah orang je.
first impression semua nak bagi khabar buruk dekat aku. razin tulah razin nilah..
haha tak pernah cakap sama luu maa.
tapi mungkin Allah dah tetapkan. every perlawanan antara group
seingat aku la kau mesti je dengan aku.
so aku kenal lah siapa Ahmad Razin Ahmad Razli nih.
orang kata mulut macam longkang.
ada lah bau tu sikit haha. well ur minds work like me kind a bit. 
tapi aku sendiri tak tau nak jangka diri aku macam mana haha. 
kadang kadang aku rasa kau ni dekaat kadang kadang jauhh sangat.
tahun depan jangan lupa aku. jangan biarkan aku terkontang kanting sensorang.
aku takut. well like i said. aku sendiri tak boleh nak jangka diri aku. percayakan aku. 
kalau aku dah tersasar tu tarik. kalau aku cakap aku nak give up ke.. aku nak keluar ke..
aku dah malas ke. tarik balik aku. i really dont meant my words sometimes.
well lelaki ikut akal. perempuan ikut hati.
banyak benda aku ikut kau tahun depan. aku cepat down.
so kau pulak gantikan kak adda .. naikkan aku.
so kau charge la esteem kau dekat kak adda sementara dia ada ni eh.
aku pegang kata kata kau nih

Kiyna? Nama penuh Nurul Sakinah binti Mohd Heree. Rapat ngan dia since awal thun ni. Aq dia and kak adda , rapat sesangat ngan dia. Mcm family mungkin. Drpd bahas,syarahan ke pidato. Prefect yg suka buat kerja. Gipang mungkin. Haha. Yg pnting dia slalu wat lawak hambar. Brrrr. Do you wanna build a snowman. Let it go. And last but not least good luck PT3. Jngn sng down. Kau tu pandai,kau boleh. Kalau aq prcaya ngan kau,y not u trust urself right? 

ingat aku. aku ni tak kuat. selalu ikut perasaan.
so, razin yang funny, yang hambar, yang KEDEKUT, yang suka bajet lawak, yang sly, yang pandai.


Nota kaki: 
there are two choices when ur wake up:
1) go to sleep again and continue ur dream
2) wake up and go realize ur dream

okay tu je. 
untuk orang teristimewa saya.
till then. post lain.
 LOVE u.

Apr 26, 2014


Assalamualaikum. Dah lama dah tak update blog kan. Update blog yang betul betul menceritakan semua yang berlaku let go.

Nurul Sakinah sekarang dah 15 tahun. 
pejam celik pejam celik dah hampir 3 tahun bersekolah di SBP SBT Integrasi Selandar.
Sekarang memegang amanah sebagai pengawas. Hmm
How i feel?
memang rasa happy gila waktu tu. Firstly rasa ragu2 nak mohon pengawas tapi sedar tak sedar kertas pemohonan tu dah dihantar. rasa macam takde harapan nak dapat pun boleh lah jugak.
40 orang yang mohon . 40 orang batch saya yang lulus pergi interview tu.


nak kata saya buat terbaik? nnnn tah la nak. hhaha*tagline baru tu.. hahah selingan jap 
tapi dari 40 orang yang pergi tu hanya 6 orang lelaki and 6 orang perempuan je yang terpilih dan seriyes tak sangka i'm one of them. first first tu semangat gila nak buat tugas. tak sedar lagi berat amanah yang dipikul tapi bila dah nak hampir setahun pegang jawatan sebagai salah seorang ahli EXCO 3K bahagian sekolah , salah satu dari 3 exco terbesar dalam badan pengawas,
baru rasa beratnya amanah tu. baru rasa betapa betul kata kata kak faz tu.
kalau boleh rasa amanah tu, kalau boleh nampak amanah tu boleh patah bahu BADAR, boleh patah bahu PENGAWAS.
yup, saya akui. bagi hambaNya yang betul betul memahami amanah dan tanggungjawab, bagi hambaNya yang takut untuk disoalkan di padang mahsyar nanti bagaimana langsainya mereka melunaskan amanah mereaka. ia memang BERAT.
Doakan saya agar terus tabah melalui jalan yang Allah telah pilih untuk saya. agar Dia tidak membolak balikkan hati saya dari terus mencari jalan yang diredhaiNya. Insyaa Allah. I need your prayer.

 tahun ni PT3 mungkin yang final selepas PMR ditolak, PBS ditolak, PPMR ditolak.
takpe Sakinah tabah. terus tabah untuk menuntut ilmu ingat. belajar bukan untuk exam. belajar kerana menuntut ilmu itu ibadah . syahid ke jalan Allah. kerana dahagakan ilmu Allah.
jangan mengalah. jangan putus asa. tak kisahlah apa kementerian tetapkan kalau kita dah niatkan belajar ke rana Dia  takkan ada masalah punya. sebab kita bukannya belajar kerana exam kann?

saya jugak manusia. pasti kadang kadang ada juga hati tu memberontak mengatakan ketidakpuasaan atas segala takdir Allah. kenapa Allah tetapkan jalan yang begini pada aku? tapi muhasabah diri tu penting sakinah. keep remembering yourself.

 banyak banyak benda nak cerita sangat banyak.. tapi entry seterusnya lah ye.
perut dah berbunyi mintak diisi.
last but not least. Semoga doa kalian selalu mengiringi saya ameeen.
till then,
Love you.