"You like him right? Why don't you go after him?"I have to admit, I don't have much experience when it comes to relationships, I've only ever had one legit boyfriend i don't even call him that because he never really liked the label, we both saw a future with each other, we both loved each other dearly but the label itself attached a stigma as well as expectations along with it, and we never really wanted that we just wanted to be happy with each other, with the comfort of knowing that we felt the same way towards each other .
that was the case until one party didn't feel that way anymore, and instead fell into the trap that was the expectations of the label, in the end the unhappiness caused by the insecurities undermined the happiness caused by the comfort and eventually didn't work out.
background story done here's where the rant actually begins tonight a friend asked me why I'm not going after this boy that I've a crush on, saying that I'm too shy and I can get him if I wanted to and this got to me because it made me question why some people feel the need to "obtain" a relationship just because you're attracted to someone, is it not possible to admire someone from afar without pursuing more than that why must we make it an obligation to make the person we like, the person we are with? "i like him, i want him to be my boyfriend" ....but why? like Ive said, I've only ever been in one relationship my whole life but I understand how much commitment and effort is needed to maintain one mere attraction and admiration alone isn't enough for me to jump into another one so quickly. we put so much emphasis on romance that we think being in a relationship will guarantee you happiness just because youve "found the one" so we hop from one person to the next, gaining happiness from them until the happiness runs out and we find another "one"
You can't deny human nature to feel attraction to others, or feel infatuation, but to make those infatuations the source of your happiness that's when it starts to hurt .I've been of both ends of this, being dependent on someone for my happiness and having someone depend on me for theirs it's like everything you do is to please them and if they're not happy then you aren't as well, their sadness is yours, they complete you it sounds sweet and all but we don't realize we are romanticising toxic relationships that prevent self development, being lonely sucks sometimes, having no one to talk to about your day, having all this love to give but no one to receive it but it sucks even more to lose yourself by making someone else your identity, identifying yourself as "so and so's significant other"
I mean yes, I like this boy I find him handsome, and sometimes I catch myself thinking about the way he calls my name with so much aww or the way he looks at me when we talk and I can see his eyes glistening with a sparkle but do these things justify me desiring to be in a relationship with him? Am I obligated to chase after him just because I think he's cute? Am I ready to put in that amount of commitment and effort again? And in the miraculous case that he feels the same way, even if I am ready, is he? I'd rather we put that effort into developing ourselves first, ensuring we both are dependent on ourselves for our own happiness I mean he makes me happy by being there, but I also wanna be happy when he isn't ya feel .be grateful for the things that already make you happy and God will give you more, don't take things for granted
TL;DR, just because you catch feeling on someone or like someone, you didn't need to make him/her yours. if you happy with them then keep it like that, why ask for more. liking someone from far away doesn't make you pathetic, it makes you wonderful because imagine someone liking you from afar and wishing only good things for you.
