Getting over someone is a long and harsh process. You start to see their flaws as it is, instead of closing your eyes as you've always done before, in the name of love. You nitpick every little thing they do, you find reasons to counter the love you've once had for them, you remind yourself of all the times they've been selfish or inconsiderate of you and your feelings. It's never been easy for me to get rid of a love so profound that's developed over time. And indeed, over time, I try to tell myself that this is the right thing to do.
It's easy to tell yourself you're over someone. The challenge comes when you find yourself in the same room with them, resisting the urge to run away when your eyes catch theirs, seeing them smile and hearing their laughter, and admit to yourself "I don't want you anymore". Once you're finally able to admit that without being awkward in front of them, you know you're free. Oh God I can't wait to be free.
The first step to moving on, is actually wanting to move on. Sometimes you tell yourself "I need to get over A" but deep down somewhere in the back of your mind you know you're not ready to let A go. You find yourself debating should you stay or should you go? You ask yourself "how do you get over someone, still remain good friends and not cross the fine line between friends and lovers?" You have no idea.
I don't believe there's such a thing as the right person, wrong timing. One wrong makes the whole premise wrong. The right person will find you when you're ready to be found. Everything seems to fall into place when they come along. You will weather through sunny days and stormy nights, trudge through beautiful streams and filthy muds. Weirdly enough you always find yourself choosing them, over and over again. And they will choose you too.
I promise you, nurul, the right one will come along. This heartbreak won't last forever. You're going to find your one true love, when you stop looking for it. For now just hurt whilst you can. You're still young. You have your whole life ahead of you. One day you'll wake up and you'll be free. This storm won't last forever, I promise you that.
p.s. this post had been in my drafts for a while. I wasn't ready to post it because I wasn't ready to let things go.
