Jun 1, 2017

Just Because

Image result for empty feeling

I don't know when all of this started . 
I just happened to realize it 3 days ago when i was performing my teraweh ,
it just suddenly, no greeting, no expectation,  it just happened.
i feel so empty, my heart hurt so bad, i want to cry so damn bad , so hard but i just couldn't forced the tears out. 
maybe because my period is coming , or maybe because i'm gonna fly this Saturday 
but I'm not the type to be homesick , in fact i love staying in hostel more ,like i did when i  was in high school, 
i don't exactly will miss my parents, because i had already adjusted to their absence , well because of work , etc. 
but then, i will miss my siblings damn damn hard, and i came to realize as we are growing older,  we had spent less and less time together but , yeah surprisingly the little time we spent together mean so much ya know, like, i will wait for weekends for them to come back and it feel blessed not to spend time with just your computer or phone, yeah  surprisingly its quality above quantity now. 

i will miss my mom's cooking, yesterday my mom made spaghetti for sahur just because i requested it, i was stunned because my brother had requested nasi kerabu way before i made mine but mom just made mine before, i was deep touch, although i was already full because i ate so damn much after teraweh but i finished two plates of it, because it just damn touching everyone fulfilling to my wishes , listen every details of my talk, it was touching. my grandmother kuih koci, i just joking when i said to wan that she is the only one that hadn't sponsored me anything and i want a new quran tafseer but , i was sobbing when i saw a new quran on my desk , my father , listen to every little craving of mine during buka, like even my mom said that she want to eat murtabak but he brought back roti john way before , damn girl i'm sobbing.

it's not that i'm homesick, its me that want to stop the time. because right now i feel like i don't wanna grow up, i just want to be mama and abah only little daughter,  its hard watching people come and leave , its hard af to stuck in the memories,
i don't miss the people ya know, i miss the moments. 
even when sometimes , i hang up with my friends, we just can't afford to draw "rindu" , it just too much, i mean if we rindu, we can always hang up, otp, message, but it's not the people that i rindu, it 's the moments. the moments.

i miss high school damn much. i miss benz, i miss squad, i miss dorm 6, 
it's always hard being the one that always stuck in the memories. 
it's always been hard for me to let go and move on. i just keep reminiscing more and more,
and when i don't really have anything to make myself busy with, the empty spaces creak more often, 
i am swallow by the ocean of empathy, too much feeling everything.

i will miss fify damn much, these days , i woke up and what i did first was feeding the kittens, *my eyes become blurry , and i watched them eat like there's no tomorrow and i know i will regret not to be there by their side when they grow bigger, fluffier , i don't want them to not recognize me anymore, 
i'm being a baby right know. i will miss fify , she is pregnant again ya know , her kittens are only 3 months old but hahah, she is so eager to give me more and more of grandchildren hahaha.
i will miss stripes, snow, spot , squad , i will miss these bulus  ,

i will miss angah and iman , i will be very sad because i can't be there on their birthdays and celebrate it with the,  it will be very sad to just post the present you know , i will be a laughing stock right now hahhaa, one year is a long time , by that time angah will have finish his SPM , and Iman will be a senior by one year in his high school , hahah that kid , i will miss his gediks, i don't know that growing up will be this suck, i will be this afraid, but believe it or not, i am afraid to grow up,
i am afraid of commitment, a bigger responsibility , a more life struggle , because as you grow up, you have to make more and more decisions yourself and i am afraid of decisions ,
i guess it's true, don't grow up, it's a trap.

heck i don't know why i'm feeling what i'm feeling right now,
anyone if you 're reading this, don't brought up on me, but if you want to help me covering the emptiness, ring me, anytime.  just talk with me. i miss all of you.

May 25, 2017

UNIMAS : Flight Ticket & DPT

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I'm opposing young people or girl to marry early , I don't fucking care the reasons that people said like 'elakkan zina, or that are on the same page' . For me, if you are a bloody horny af pun , you married early pun there is no such thing that can guaranteed you from being away from zina, I mean you can still see other guys on this earth , tipulah you kata nafsu you on that same guy je urgh. So, for me the right way is for you to learn to control yourself first, imagine you kahwin awal dengan alasan nak elak zina, yelah everyday you see your boyfriend kan mana tak horny like dat hah, nanti bila dah lama kahwin you bosan then you see other guys yang lagi hot then you *** , so mananya kahwin awal for elakkan zinanya? So conclusion is , fix yourself first , thing like this macam lari dari masalah hahah, but ingat lari lah macam mana pun bende tu still tied at your back , nanti dah kahwin hah masalah money la pulak, nonstop burden coming. But this is solely my humble opinion and i fokuskan golongan yang kahwin awal and neglect their studies actually. Ingat whatever the reason is , you have to be a successful mommy , note to self.

Okay jauh tersempang kan , so back to the topic, btw if you want to read about all my procedures you can see the story genre Unimas at the sidebar. 

So , after result UPU keluar , the first thing that come up on my mind was of course flight ticket lah, yelah nak buat edftar awal awal pun the next day baru boleh buat , so i start surveying the flight ticket , actually i dah lama survey dari time nak mohon UPU dulu, yelah sebab i macam yakin gila dapat Unimas kan, so i already search through everything and ask my senior everything. Time awal awal dulu survey harga memang jauh beza lah , but noted this , time puasa n raya season harga memang mahal . okay i bagi contoh like this,

from KLIA to Kuching

tempah ticket 2/2/2017 for 3/3/2017 = RM102.00 ( not peak season + book awal sebulan)
tempah ticket 17/2/2017 for 3/3/2017 = RM110.00 ( not peak season + book awal 2 minggu )
tempah ticket 3/5/2017 for 3/6/2017 = RM 210 (peak seaon + book awal sebulan)
tempah ticket 17/5/2017 for 3/6/2017 = RM280 (peak season + book awal 2 minggu)

you see, ada faham tak konsep  die?  time i nak book tu , i search for the cheapest flight tau tak kisah lah pagi buta ke because pagi pagi or midnight biasa flight ticket murah,, and lambat sehari je price tu mesti naik , member i yang tempah flight sama and depart time sama but lambat just 3 hari from the day i tempah , have to pay for RM 310.00 while i pay for RM280 hah see? 

so for permulaan nak pergi ni , senior i semua suggestkan malindo or mas sebab free luggage 30kg,yelah kalau nak AirAsia luggage dapat 7kg je wei hahahha, nanti kena bayar charges , total harga jadi lagi mahal. but for flight raya ke , hah i suggest air asia lah.  i tempah from traveloka, siap install apps die lagi , and pay via debit card , if your parents yang tempahkan you punya flight make sure nanti you ada diorang punya salinan fotostet debit or credit card and salinan ic okay for proof, nanti time dah siap book die ade mention dalam email, just follow the instructions okay.

so next DPT.

Dokumen Perjalanan Terhad. so this for orang Semenanjang yang nak pergi ke Sabah or Sarawak lama, or study mcam I, DPT ni sah selama 5 tahun , function die macam passport lah lebih kurang. So first i pergi UTC melaka to Jabatan Imigresen nak buat but sadly dekat sana just for Antarabangsa punya , so they told me to go to JPN Ayer Keroh and it operate during office hours je , Monday till Friday so that day went to waste lah,
so hari isnin i went with my father , before you kene ade salinan IC and 2 keping gambar passport background putih, disarankan ambik dekat situ jugak because the officer said there were cases yang diorang ambik gambar dekat luar and end up tak boleh guna sebab gambar jauh , dekat JPN tu dah disediakan tempat ambik gambar, dekat level bawah sekali deret restaurant, , so dah ada salinan IC and 2 keping gambar, so pergi balik jabatan imigresen , ambik no giliran dekatkaunter luar , and wait lah haha, sekejap je , bayaran RM5.00 sahaja .

but i have to wait 2 hours nak tunggu DPT tu siap so sementara tu i bukak account bank islam , oh ya Unimas kene bukak account Bank Islam, just RM100 needed okay, kalau dah official 18 just bawak surat tawaran that you get from Unimas via Poslaju , IC & lesen kalau ada, kalau belum official, kene ade surat beranak. hehe. so tu je kot, any question just hit the comment section below okay.