her

hi, for those that follows my social media, maybe sometimes you ponder why this girl broke so much, and those posts about a friend, but you see me from social media having a very large circle of friends, well that was based on how  my friends told me.

"what if, you are the toxic one in your life or others life?"

yah, the start of this degree i have hard breakdown , and i really in my life so relief it was over, but yah some snapseeds incase you are left behind.

Do you want to know what having someone walk away from your life feels like? Imagine over time you've been gradually knitting yourself into a person, carefully threading your souls together, making sure you share a genuine and profound bond, then one day the piece of fabric that you've been working so hard on snaps in the middle so suddenly. All the time and hard effort that you've invested, gone. Just like that.
I guess the thing I hate most about breaking with a person - besides obviously losing the person who's become such an integral part of your daily life - is what comes afterwards. I call it the What Could Have Been. Inevitably, you see them moving on with their life, finding new friends to make, and in the back of your mind there's this fear that this budding friendship may be the best for them and it's not you by their side anymore. I know i should respect every decision you make as to cut me from your life, but it still freaking hurt as hell.
I'm sorry for every hurts that came with me , i know it's too hard to ask for, but maybe one day you could tell me what had gone wrong in everything. I miss you damn much doh , i wish you all happiness this world can give. Just know, you can hmu whenever babe 💞

it was hard, i don't know what was going wrong. i thought my life is sailing smoothly , neither did i imagine , a big rock is waiting upfront. but i was grateful for all of these. it grows me. i start double triple check myself from square one, i start appreciating every little people, every little gestures matters most.

and i believe, good days will come. yah we finally resolve our issues altho not really resolve but it's okay now. so everyone, appreciate people more and better in your life cause you just don't know when you will loose them.