Dec 2, 2014

The End

Salam.
Right know maybe .. MAYBE there's someone will notice my presence is dissolving right into the mist of the night , my presence had been swallowed and be carried away by November . 
If there's actually one human noticed me being missing...
Please remind me to hug you so damn tight..
I am crying  i'm telling you, sobbing so hard unconditionally 
I really don't know what have gotten to me this 2014 really.
THIS IS NOT ME
I've changed so damn MUCH this year until me, myself didn't know who is this in front of me, just like who are you, ?? i really don't know  myself anymore, truthfully .
so today i sleep so long trying to find what is wrong with me, just really what is it...
opening my leather bounded book , i found it.

Dan kau tanya dalam diam
Dengan mata kau biar pejam
Bagaimana mampu wujud sunyi
Diriuh engkau berdiri
Satu persatu hilang ertinya
Berdikit-dikit menyesak dada
Mahu kau lari dan bersembunyi
Tapi mana kau harus pergi
Haus.. tak terpuas lautan
Lapar tak terkenyangkan
Kau tahu namun tak kau akukan
Kau selongkar bumi langit petala
Sedang jawabnya lama kau ada
Maka perlu apa kau bongkar gali
Kalau cuma diletak tepi
Sayu.. tak terjelas fikiran
Rebah tak tersambutkan
Kau tahu namun tak kau akukan
Apa kau cari yang sebetul betulnya
Lama mana begini
Bertelanjang jiwanya
Apa kau cari yang sesungguh sungguhnya
Malam siang berganti
Jawabnya tetap sama
Apa kau cari yang sebetul betulnya
Lama mana begini
Bertelanjang jiwanya
Apa kau nanti yang sesungguh sungguhnya
Malam siang berganti
Jawabnya tetap sama
Sayu.. tak terjelas fikiran
Rebah tak tersambutkan
Kau tahu kau sayu
Kau rindu sama Tuhan


so for those who might just in case , just realize that i've been missing , there's nothing i want to say.
There isn't any reason behind this.
If you are so hard on me by wanting me to give the reason thought, well accepted this
"Maybe i am reborn."
hahahah. Just accepted that , that was my last request for you.
Yes maybe i will never know or up to date to on how good is you doing nowadays but believe it's not because i don't care about you anymore but it's better this way.
Allah will always united us .
Actually i'm being strong right know believe me,
i'm telling myself again and again that this is really the right choice .
So please do me a favor by supporting my decision , for my haters really prays for me ahahah.
you know if i was given three wishes by genee the first wish is i want to have the special gift like Lee Jong Suk in the I Hear Your Voice.
i really want to know every inch of heart that you have.
What have you thought of me? What is your impression bout me? and Do you like me?
You know there's this person on my ask.fm
He said: "aku budak jahat tak mati pun takda kawan."
the i've been thinking that sometimes.
You just need oxygen to breath and live why bothers other things.
so you if you are reading this,
i am grateful to have met you, may we meet again someday and just for you to be aware, i think i maybe will try to apply your technique next year. 
I'm excited on how it will turn to be, is my life will be upside down?
really can't wait.
"I don't talk much in real life. I love to observe every inch of life. So this is the result of my observation ."
Btw, i haven't decided which class to turn myself in next year.
I just don't know what to write anymore. Sorry because you had to waste your precious time reading my dumb post , well my parents doesn't raise me all this dumby in the first place.
Beg your pardon, until then.
XO






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